NEMACOLIN, PENNSYLVANIA – In an afternoon FaceTime call with his nephew, local uncle Mark Kitts revealed that his “notorious” concoction consisting of Vodka and Diet Coke would remain nameless for the time being. 


Kitts, having failed to designate any title for the cocktail on five previous calls spanning the past 14 months, admitted he is “still working” on it and is “open to suggestions.”


“I’m thinking something like Mark’s Punch or something, but better than that,” he teased, while squeezing his plastic 1998 Olympic Games souvenir cup to break up the handful of freezer ice floating on top.


“Anyway, got any new drinks you’re working on while we’re stuck at home there, Big Bartender?” he asked. “Been really getting into cocktails since you showed me that Dark and Stormy last Christmas.”


“The FaceTime isn’t working again, hang on.” 


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