NEW ORLEANS, LA — “In the grand scheme of things, we really lucked out. Hurricane Barry juked us in the best way, and we came out mostly unharmed,” a spokesperson for the iconic Italian brand said this morning.

Weather forecasters were expecting a massive flooding situation this weekend, but conditions were comparably mellow and the city is showcasing is resiliency.  All reports are showing business as usual this year for the 17th annual premiere cocktail convention.

“We bought 3 dozen of these damn boats.  Our new marketing intern, Billy, signed for the delivery.  So, we unfortunately own them now.  If anyone is in the market, please reach out.  We contacted Gondolas Unlimited, Inc for a return, but they’re trying to play us for store credit. Billy is currently on hold for the manager.”

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