CHICAGO, ILLINOIS — Across the country, many bars and restaurants are facing difficult decisions regarding reopening. Will they? When? How? CAN they? Uncertainty is in the air. We caught up with local bar patron who you’ve always had a bad feeling about but never had quite quite enough of a reason to kick out, Jason “Jay” Henderson, for comment.
“The last few months have been tough, and I’m excited to get back into some version of normality. But these distancing and mask rules are cramping my style. To be honest, I’m not used to being told what I can and can’t do. It’s so frustrating,” he lamented. “Like, how am I supposed to meet THE ONE if I can’t hover around drunk strangers I’m attracted to and buy them a drink they clearly don’t need?!”
We were so struck by his strong symmetrical jawline and piercing eyes, we didn’t notice that he called us by the wrong name twice.
“Anyway, I live pretty close to here,” he went on, mentioning for seemingly no reason.