LONDON, ENGLAND — We traveled overseas for this story, where the latest reports coming out of the UK of some fancy bartender who holds things all weird for some reason. …
SEASON FOR GIVING — Anybody Want This Orphan Cocktail That Has Been Sitting On Service Mat For A While?
LITTLE ROCK, ARKANSAS — It is the season for giving, and local bartender Alicia Lopez is fully embracing this mindset. “Does anyone know where this thing was supposed to …
Cocktail Bartender Thinking a Couple Dashes of Ango Might Round Out Personality
TAMPA, FLORIDA — Sometimes you sip a cocktail and it’s missing just that little something extra. Often, a couple dashes of bitters will add that depth and complexity your cocktail …
CAREER — Local Server Invests In Future, Buys Second Work Shirt
INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA — Local server Alicia Patterson is done playing kiddie game; she is tightening those Doc Martin boot strings and standing up tall. She is transitioning into adulthood, and …
‘Cheers to Kareign For Hosting Us This Year Since We Can’t Visit Family’ Toasts Local Man to 16 Best Friends
BROOKLYN, NEW YORK — It’s heartwarming to see groups of loved ones gather during the holidays. So heartwarming that you can almost feel a fever coming on. Oh, wait, maybe …
HI AHEM HEY THERE — Server Running Out Of Ways To Make Table 14 Look Up
WINSTON-SALEM, NORTH CAROLINA — We are getting live reports of a local server, Gus Ferguson, desperately waving his arms around and screaming to get table 43’s attention. Their gaze seems …
Bartender Always Forgets Request Off For National Mezcal Daiquiri Day or Whatever, Vows ‘Never Again’ After Purchasing Daily Expo Calendar
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CYBER MONDAY DEALS — Prep Cook Snags New Boombox for Kitchen
HOBOKEN, NEW JERSEY — Local line cook and prep extraordinaire, Carlos Dominguez, does not typically jump at Black Friday or Cyber Monday Sales. But this year he saw something he …
REPORT — Barback Just Gonna Finish That Thought Before Getting Me Ice, I Guess
LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY — A tense mood descended upon the service well last night as local barback Dylan Knobs continued to finish his story after being asked to grab ice for …
BACK HOME — Bartender Introduces Elderly Parents To Friends, Guests, Coworkers Through Big Hug
DES MOINES, IOWA — It has been a tough year for everyone. The kind of tough year that only Grandma’s cooking can cure. That is why Deb Barnett hopped on …
Man Rediscovers Life, Finds Higher Meaning After Receiving Last Minute Cut From Server Shift
PORTLAND, MAINE — Brian Thompson was scheduled for a 4pm call time, and was set to close. That was before he received a call from the daytime manager today at …
Air Bud Latest Celebrity to Join Tequila Industry, Announces Brand Launch
HOLLYWOOD, LOS ANGELES — According to a press release this morning, canine superstar Air Bud is the latest to join the club of celebrities who have side stepped into the …
HANGOVER REPORT — Woman Unsure If Anyone Is Mad At Her, Avoiding All Human Contact Today To Be Safe
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA — It started so harmless and carefree. It was one of those magical nights where the entire team at Quigley’s Bar & Grill finished closing sidework at the …
Brotender Just Gonna Casually Jump Into Ladies’ Conversation Like That, New Report Shows
AKRON, OHIO — Based on new reports we’re getting out of the downtown area of Akron, allegedly some brotender is just gonna jump in some ladies’ conversation like a moving …
Area Door Guy Will Take Care Of This If You Make Him That Boozy Pink Thing You Made Last Time
WASHINGTON, DC — After a crazy rollercoaster week in politics, we may have relief on the way. “Daryl is going to take care of it,” advised local bartender Alyssa …
INVENTORY NIGHT COVERAGE: 100% of Bars Reporting .5 of Hendricks on Backbar
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, USA — We continue our inventory night coverage with a shocking new update. Of the bar precincts who have submitted early results, 100% have reported a …
Local Server Can’t Remember Which Table of Wednesday Addams Ordered All These Palomas
TUCSON, ARIZONA — Our scanners at Expo HQ lit up last night when an APB went out for whichever Wednesday Addams ordered these damn drinks. “I seriously can’t remember …
LIVE — City Unveils Plans for Improving 50/50 Martini
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Commission on Zoology Officially Classifies Elbow Flailing Cocktail Bartender As Flightless Bird
LONDON, UK — The International Commission on Zoological Nomenclature (ICZN), the governing body comprising of 27 zoological taxonomists from 19 countries, has recently updated the classification of homo sapien to …
GOP Hires Local Restaurant Host to Consult Senate on Filling Seats During A Rush
WASHINGTON, DC — Millions of Americans took a break from desperately needing Covid-19 financial relief to witness the swearing in of a new Supreme Court Justice of the United States. …
‘Local Restaurants Will Bounce Back’ Says Investor Buying Someone’s Shuttered Dreams
MEMPHIS, TENNESSEE — “You know that old sell your soul to the devil cliche? The whole bit about Robert Johnson and the Crossroads?” asked former restaurant owner, Maria Dominguez. “Something …