KANSAS CITY, MO — “I don’t understand, she used to light up every time I ordered an Old Fashioned,” Marta Collins told us in a phone interview yesterday. Marta has been a happy regular at Ampersand Room in Kansas City for about 5 years now. “Things are different now.”
“We started playing around with the ingredients of the Old Fashioned, it was the highlight of my week. Then, it seems like overnight, she started to show disdain for my order. So I withdrew just a bit and started to order plain Old Fashioneds. I get it, you don’t want to have that conversation every time. Then I started to notice her being more engaging to the baby boomers ordering Pina Coladas at the end of the bar. Did I say something? Why does it feel like my bartender is breaking up with me?”
We reached out to the bartender in question. She denied our using her name, and only provided the following quote:
“Chill out, dude. It’s only drinks.”
Back on the phone with Marta, we attempted to offer a solution, which we’ll share with anyone else afflicted with this situation. We advised that she should only order the cocktail bar community’s trend du jour from her regular bartender. Barring that, find a better bartender.