HUNTINGTON, NEW YORK — Alcohol Beverage Control reports have been slow with the quarantine rules in effect, but a slow buzz continues with an ongoing effort to close local speakeasy themed bar Straight On ‘Til Morning.


“No, seriously, this is not a gag,” local authorities reportedly said to the manager on duty yesterday. “Stop winking, nudging Officer Hernandez, and calling us coppers. You actually have to close the doors.”


“They just don’t understand that we’re actually shutting them down. They think it’s some sort of gag,” a representative of ABC told us during a recent phone interview. “It feels like chasing your dog around the park when you just want to go home.”


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