MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN — Local bartender, Aaron Scholl, had a tingling shot of panic run down his spine as he looked at his wristwatch while riding a tiger through a carwash last night. 


“My watch was melting down my arm, but I could tell that I was running late for a shift I had last week,” he told us via Facetime while sitting in bed this morning. “That’s when something felt amiss. I don’t own a wristwatch.”


He then reportedly shot up in bed and exercised the thoughts out of his brain, before going back to sleep.


“I finally told that sucker off.  It’s been a long time coming,” he said to us, before looking over at his nightstand and seeing a barspoon spinning upright like a top.


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