ROANOKE, VA — Stork Lounge, the dimly lit casual cocktail den in downtown Roanoke, is a local institution. Since they opened their doors in 2015, the local drink scene has been scrambling to keep up. Annie Tate dipped her toe into bartending at Stork back in 2017. During the recent summer menu submissions, Annie had an epiphany.
“We need to put a Miami Vice on the menu! They’re so hot right now and we need to stay relevant” Annie told the Expo in a phone interview. “All my friends are drinking White Claw with a dash of Blue Curaçao, so we’re already behind on the trend. We literally have a Last Word on our menu; it’s embarrassing!”
Our reports are showing though, that the Stork’s bar manager David Fitzgerald, “totally shit on” her idea.
“This isn’t 2015 anymore, Dale DeGramps!” exclaimed Annie to our reporter. “He needs to get out of the past and live in the present.”
David is, in fact, an old school bartender. He cut his chops in the early 2010s, and is notorious for being anti-trend and steadfast in the archaic 21st century cocktail revival. David declined to comment citing that he “has to much shit to do today.”
UPDATE: We’ve recently learned that Annie has put in her 1.5 week notice and is planning on venturing into the consulting industry. We reached out to Annie for a comment.
“My experience with David’s blind eye has opened my eyes up to the possibilities. I’ll design simple bar programs that give people what they want! Paint the room white and buy a bunch of ferns. 20 bottles tops. So easy.”