PORTLAND, OREGON — “We’re very pleased to announce the latest educational track for students at Portland Cocktail Week,” a representative for the event said yesterday afternoon. “We welcome all types of bar professionals here at PDXCW, and that includes those whose skills lie outside of working in the classical sense.”
Portland Cocktail Week is in its 14th year or so. During this event, bar professionals ascend to Portland, Oregon and learn various facets of the bar industry from people who have been doing it better, longer, or more loudly then them. Also to throw money at dancers in the after hours. It’s a great time for everyone.
”We’re thrilled to be on the advisory board for this new major,” a representative for [popular meme account redacted] told us over the Facetime this afternoon. “Among other topics, we’ll guide those looking to slap industry jargon on crass meme templates. It’s super fucking easy; I have this app… [They then took a Juul drag and motioned towards their phone screen, which we obviously could not see as we were using Facetime.] I hope I don’t get bored of this whole meme thing before November lol.”
For more information on Portland Cocktail Week, and how to attend, please visit www.portlandcocktailweek.com.