SAN DIEGO, CA — Since 2013, the swanky, free pouring cocktail stalwarts at Staff Lounge have been known to pump out classic cocktails fast. But lately, business has been slow.
Owner Paul ‘Paloma Paul’ Richards understands that natural slopes and slumps happen in small businesses like his. He sat down with us to explain how he copes when clientele runs dry.
“I have an approved playlist on the iPad, and rule #1 has always been to never diverge from Paloma Paul’s Perfect Party Playlist. So, you know what I did? Over the course of last summer, I slowly increased the tempo of every song on the playlist. God damn, it worked. Want to see 10% more profits? Make the songs 10% faster.”
Paul now has this practice down to a science. He is able to dial in his liquor costs weekly with different playlists of the same songs — at different speeds.
“Sure, that one LCD Soundsystem song plays in less than 2 minutes during the slow summer, but your 2oz pour of Woodford will only cost me 1.18oz!”