LONDON, UK — The International Commission on Zoological Nomenclature (ICZN), the governing body comprising of 27 zoological taxonomists from 19 countries, has recently updated the classification of homo sapien to include a subspecies that curiously resembles that of a flightless bird.
“This is obviously huge news for humankind,” a representative told us via Zoom. “For the first time in millions of years, we officially have a new step in the evolution of… man? Are we still calling all humans men?”
They went on to describe this new subspecies.
“These creatures seem to possess the instinct of flight. But no matter how hard they flap those elbows, they simply do not possess the ability. They are likely ancestors of the would-be aeronauts of the early days of flight in the late nineteenth century.”